Why Do Chinese People Use Chrysanthemums for Mourning?

It’s 3 a.m. in your overseas apartment. Outside the window, the neon lights of a foreign city glow, but on your phone screen, you see your family’s red-rimmed eyes—your grandmother has passed away. You clutch your phone, wanting to send a bouquet to your loved ones back home to express your grief, only to discover that every memorial photo in your social media feed features a simple bouquet of white or yellow chrysanthemums.
In the country where you study, chrysanthemums are common garden decorations and are even used to adorn dining tables. You never imagined that this seemingly ordinary flower would be exclusively associated with mourning the deceased in China. What worries you even more is that if you send the wrong flowers or choose the wrong color, it will not only be rude but also deepen the grief of your loved ones back home—this is a dilemma many overseas Chinese face when a relative or friend passes away in China.
I. Not All Flowers Are Suitable for Mourning
The most common gift-giving pitfall for overseas Chinese is applying foreign flower-giving customs to Chinese mourning rituals. In traditional Chinese culture, there is a clear “blacklist” of flowers for mourning; violating it is considered rude:
Absolutely prohibited flowers: Red roses (symbolizing passionate love and joy, which completely contradicts the solemn atmosphere of mourning), pink roses (too warm and sweet, unsuitable for expressing grief), yellow carnations (considered inauspicious; avoid giving them to elders, the sick, or in mourning contexts)
, sunflowers (symbolizing sunshine and optimism; typically used for blessings, not suitable for mourning).
Color taboos: Avoid any bright, glaring colors (such as deep red, bright pink, or dark purple), as these are seen as disrespectful to the deceased; the only safe colors are white and yellow, which align with the solemn atmosphere of mourning.
Number Taboos: Never give 4 flowers (as it sounds like the word for “death” in Chinese, making it the greatest taboo); prioritize odd numbers (3, 5, or 9). In traditional Chinese culture, odd numbers symbolize solemnity and dignity, while even numbers are typically used for celebratory occasions and are unsuitable for mourning.
In China, “etiquette” is paramount. A memorial bouquet is never merely a decoration; it represents reverence for the deceased and comfort for the bereaved, with every detail holding cultural significance.
II. Why Have Chrysanthemums Become the “Top Choice” for Mourning? Three Layers of Deep Cultural Meaning
Many friends overseas may wonder: with such a wide variety of flowers in China, why have chrysanthemums specifically become the exclusive floral choice for mourning the deceased? Behind this lies the accumulation of centuries of traditional culture, with each layer of meaning embodying the Chinese people’s reverence for life and their profound remembrance of the departed.
The Legacy of the Literati Spirit: Symbolizing the Deceased’s Purity
As early as the Wei and Jin dynasties, chrysanthemums were imbued with the virtues of reclusion, purity, and resilience thanks to Tao Yuanming’s verse: “Picking chrysanthemums beneath the eastern fence, I gaze leisurely upon the southern mountain.” Ancient people believed that chrysanthemums bloom in the cold without competing for beauty with other flowers, much like a gentleman who remains true to his principles—this character is also projected onto the deceased, symbolizing a life of integrity and noble character, with a soul as pure and flawless as the chrysanthemum, returning to peace.
This cultural tradition continues to this day; the use of chrysanthemums in memorial services serves both as a tribute to the deceased and an affirmation of their life. Unlike the “ordinary decorative” role chrysanthemums play abroad, in China, they have long transcended their status as mere flowers to become a cultural symbol embodying a spiritual essence.
Blooming Season and Form, Harmonizing with the Solemn Atmosphere of Mourning
From a practical perspective, chrysanthemums have a long blooming season, full blooms, and are easy to preserve. They can maintain their elegant, understated appearance for an extended period during memorial services—neither flashy nor vibrant—perfectly aligning with the solemn and reverent atmosphere of mourning.
More importantly, the layered petals of the chrysanthemum symbolize “completeness” and “remembrance”—just as our thoughts of the departed are layered and never fade. The purity of white chrysanthemums and the gentle warmth of yellow ones, free from distracting colors, allow our grief to be conveyed in its purest form—a unique advantage that sets them apart from other flowers.
A Cultural Tradition Rooted in the Collective Memory of the Chinese People
In China, the custom of using chrysanthemums for mourning has been passed down for thousands of years. In ancient funerals, people would adorn the memorial hall with chrysanthemums to express their longing for the departed; in modern times, this custom has been preserved, with white and yellow chrysanthemums paired with a few green leaves becoming the classic combination for memorial bouquets.
As mentioned in the flower-sending guide provided by users: “In China, chrysanthemums have been the first choice for honoring the deceased since ancient times. Predominantly white or yellow, they effectively convey our deep sorrow.” This long-standing tradition has made chrysanthemums a synonym for “mourning” in the hearts of the Chinese people—sending chrysanthemums is not a random choice, but an unspoken understanding, an expression of emotion that aligns most closely with traditional culture.
III. Sending Condolence Flowers from Abroad to China: How to Avoid Missteps
As an expatriate, when you want to send a condolence bouquet to family and friends back home across time zones and distances, in addition to choosing the right chrysanthemums, you should also pay attention to the following points to ensure your gesture is heartfelt yet respectful:
Flower Arrangement: Prioritize pure white or yellow chrysanthemums, which can be paired with a small number of white roses or white lilies (white lilies are suitable for mourning, symbolizing purity and nobility). Avoid pairing them with any brightly colored flowers. For accent foliage, choose eucalyptus leaves—they are simple and elegant, ensuring the main flowers remain the focal point.
Number of Stems: 3 stems (symbolizing “a blessing in three lifetimes, forever in remembrance”), 5 stems (symbolizing “endless remembrance”), and 9 stems (symbolizing “eternal remembrance”) are all safe choices. Strictly avoid 4 stems or any even number.
Wrapping Taboos: Choose plain-colored wrapping paper (white, off-white, or light gray) and avoid flashy decorations (such as bows, colored lights, or lace); a simple and dignified look is sufficient. Do not use colored wrapping paper, as it may appear insufficiently solemn.
IV. Conveying Deepest Condolences Across Mountains and Seas
Many overseas Chinese share this regret: when a loved one passes away, they cannot be present in person and worry that even a single bouquet sent to express their condolences might be sent to the wrong address or arrive too late. In fact, there is no need to worry—Windwish offers a cross-border flower delivery service specifically designed for overseas Chinese, helping you bridge the distance across mountains and seas to ensure your heartfelt sentiments reach your loved ones in China on time.
We deeply understand the concerns of those living abroad and fully appreciate the concepts of “ritual” and “emotion” in traditional Chinese culture. No matter where you are in the world, you can order memorial flower arrangements through Windwish. All flowers are selected from fresh white and yellow chrysanthemums, paired with plain-colored packaging that adheres to Chinese customs, and strictly avoid all taboos associated with flower delivery. Every bouquet carries your most sincere condolences.
For your convenience, we accept major international payment methods such as VISA, Mastercard, and Pay Pal, so you never have to worry about payment issues. We also offer dedicated bilingual customer service from 8:30 AM to 10:00 PM Beijing Time. Whether you have questions about flower arrangements, stem counts, or delivery times, our customer service team will patiently guide you through every step to help you avoid any pitfalls.
We deliver to over 2,000 cities nationwide, and even to most remote towns and villages. We offer free door-to-door delivery within urban areas; for non-urban areas, please contact customer service to arrange delivery. No need to worry about time zones or cultural taboos—let Windwish help you convey this love that spans mountains and seas, so your loved ones far away know that even when you’re not by their side, your care and grief are always with them.